What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops