How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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What are the two things that the little boy with cancer wants for Christmas? He wants his cancer to go away. He also wants the new Halo game.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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