knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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all your base are belong to mark

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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