Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops