I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Nickelback

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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