why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

my hand is a DOLPHIN!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops