Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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tims sty:)

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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