why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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4

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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