What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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12 in general

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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