why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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10inch nice

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Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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captcha: all yer base

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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