get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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