What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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