Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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What do you call a black man about to jump off a cliff? Suicidal

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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I dont have a girlfriend

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops