Justin Beiber

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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1d

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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