Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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A man killed himself.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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your mom

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Why do jews have big noses? Because the air is free!

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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What's circular and round A circle

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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This is not a joke

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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