Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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baby seal walks into a club

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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I'm Jewish

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops