Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops