What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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GONNA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops