- Anti Joke

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

Okay, after this one then...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

did you hear about the 2 car pile up by wal-mart? 50 mexicans dies

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

Who wants pizza crusts?

I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!