What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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