What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Once upon a time

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops