My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

Penis-biter

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

Amazing

A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

split your ass cheek

Guess What??? Ur Murr

Justin Beiber

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

You want to hear a joke? Republican

Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

learn. advance!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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