Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

thumb_up thumb_down -31

learn. advance!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

baloney sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahaha - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I agree

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Boob

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

thumb_up thumb_down -35

An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops