Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

Poop!!

Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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