What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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where's mom I killed her

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Fat people

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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