A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops