What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops