I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops