Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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