A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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