Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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poop nuff said

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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This is an anti joke

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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