Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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24

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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