Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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pauls tuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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