hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

Knock knock who's there I killed your family

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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