Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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all your base are belong to mark

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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