What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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