A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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there was a black man his head looked like a peanut

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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