Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The black man leaves the strip club.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops