What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

Wright flyer

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

What's the worst way to die? Alone.

This is Heading 1

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

all hail based mark

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

What's red, blue, and purple? purple.