How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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Cows are land manatees.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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world peace

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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YOU

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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