A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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