What happened to your hamster? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I have suicidal thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

OIO

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops