Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops