Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

Rebecca Black.

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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