whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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