so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Tony Romo

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Womens' sports

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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chirs

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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your moms my other ride

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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