Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

This is not a joke or is it

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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