A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! *present* <<< Yes this is my constant presence.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

thumb_up thumb_down -25

DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

thumb_up thumb_down -25

1d

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

sure!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

7

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Dog walked into a bar and the bartenter said 'What can i get you' the dog dident say aneything cuz its a dog!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops