a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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I just found out i have cancer.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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