What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

what does a granny look best in? 1950

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

Your future.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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