i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Michel Moor on a die...

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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