ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I hate blackniggers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops