Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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