What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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purple pickles

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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