Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

Joke.

21

OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

Apple juice.

Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

An Artic Storm.

tims sty:)

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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