Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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