Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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how did the man die he didnt

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops