Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Jimmy Saville

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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Wat do u call black circus clwon a bad comedian

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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