An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Caca.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops